Geelong is currently suffering a shortage of general practitioners. About 40, I hear. And with Deakin’s new medical school just around the corner, we’re still nine years away from getting fresh new doctors, and that’s assuming they want to become G.P.’s and wish to work around here at all.

As a medical receptionist, currently working in Geelong, I can say the following:

We’ve closed our books. That means, NO more new patients. Except for one exception, if you’re new to this area and your post code is 3216, Dr. Notini will see you.

Why have we closed our books? Because Dr. Notini and Dr. Cummins work 16 hour days five days a week and then some on the week-end. Dr. Notini’s regulars have to wait a minimum of a week to be seen if they’re unwell, Dr. Cummins’ have to wait upward of a month. With 2,000 patients each to look after (that’s double the amount G.P.’s are supposed to have), it makes juggling the regulars with the severely sick quite difficult here, at the front desk. But it’s a good challenge, I enjoy it!

What I don’t like is when snot-nosed punks guilt trip me to the point where I’m trembling and crying because I have to say no to them. And I’m not rude. I don’t talk down to people.  I recommend other doctors they can call and I give them phone numbers for those doctors. I apologise for not being able to help them more and I wish them good luck before I say farewell. I’m doing my job. Mum and dad are doing thier jobs. Every receptionist and G.P. is doing his or her job to do the best they can and there are only so many hours in a day.

And people out there have the audacity to blame ME for not being seen?

It’s not my fault your grandfather died. It’s not my fault your grandfather spoke both English and Italian and translated for your grandmother who only speaks Italian. It’s not my fault your grandmother can’t understand her English speaking doctor. It’s not my fault that YOU now have to cater for her needs and that YOU don’t speak Italian. It’s not my fault that G.P.’s throughout the Geelong region have closed thier books. It’s not my fault that you live in Geelong West.

Whoever you were that called me today, how dare you. How dare you speak to a stranger so horribly. I did all that I could. I gave you a number to a doctor that lives closer to your grandmother than anyone here does, that also speaks Italian. And you talk to me like I’m this heartless bitch who doesn’t give a shit about you or your grandmother. I did  the best that I could.

No one deserves to be talked to like that.

I understand that you’re scared and worried about what to do and with every receptionist who says “sorry, we’ve closed our books” you take it just a little more personally. It’s no ones fault. I heard how upset you were. But you have no right to take it out on me.

You rude, guilt-tripping, talk-to-me-like-I’m-a-dog-from-the-safety-and-anonymity-of -your-phone f*cwit.

WHOAH! I got really angry there, didn’t I? Got it off my chest though. Probably a healthy thing to do.

“Has anybody seen that movie, Tron?” – Homer J. Simpson.

Seriously though, has anyone seen it? Ever? I tried watching it twice this last month. Got to the same point both times which was about seven minutes into it. The only thing I appreciated was the nice reference Family Guy made to it which got me thinking “I wonder if this is all Seth McFarlane sat through”.

I do not understand why it’s so unwatchable. But it is. And I just can’t put my finger on it. Much more vertical than usual.

So dear readers, here’s a personal challenge for ye: Rent and watch Tron. See how long you can last. So far the gold medal goes to John-Paul who’s seen the first 13 minutes. DO you accept this Mighty CHALLENGE?! WHO will take the gold in this Mighty BATTLE OF … see? I don’t know how to end that sentence because I don’t even know how to describe why it’s so unwatchable. Give it a go!

Are you intrigued? You’re intrigued!

Blankets. Watching clouds drift by on a lazy, warm afternoon whilst listening to my favourite songs. Chocolate. Board games with fantastic friends (particularly Pictionary and Boulderdash). The Incredibles. Massive thunder and lightning storms (particularly in the summer and in the presence of someone who becomes as alive as I do). Candles. Long, night walks with John-Paul. Belly dancing. Drawing, especially at night time and by the fire in the music room. Blankets again. The beach. Rapture by Pedro the Lion.

Zoe. Playing Clare De Lune on the piano. Giving people presents. A glass of wine.  Twister (the movie, not the game. Although, I haven’t played in a while, maybe it’d be awesome if I gave it a go). Painting. Going to see a much anticipated movie with your closest friends. Going out to dinner with mum and dad. Mums home made foccacia and soup on a wintery, Sunday night. Listening to didgeridoo. Rain. Hail. A kick-ass view.

Jigsaw puzzles with Lisa. Siblings night at Katies and some classic ’80’s film we’ve heard so much about but haven’t yet seen. Amanda and Joel coming to Shoubra. Futurama. Those rare people that pick up on obscure references from the Simpsons and Futurama. Battlefield Two. Going to Baskin Robbins.  Online chats with Sheri. Thinking about Christmas. A dinner that consists mostly of a crap load of steamed vegetables.

Music that makes me dance. Making anyone laugh. Having deep and meaningful chats with the people I care most about in the world. Being asked directions on how to get somewhere by a stranger (this seems to happen on a weekly basis and I can’t understand why but it instills faith in me that people trust I can help them. Makes me feel like I’ll become a great nurse!). A hot shower when you’ve been feeling particularly uncomfortable all day because your extremeties are frozen. Bed linen that’s just come out of the dryer and feels warm AS and smells like clean washing. Singing my heart out as I drive *alone.

* Zoe can be with me.

What are the best things in your world, friends? And strangers?

So I was going for a walk today. And I saw thee BIGGEST rainbow I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t the brightest, but it’s size was spectacular. It seemed to soar kilometers into the sky. The right half of it was lighting up pitch black rain clouds and the left half had a backdrop of clear blue sky. I could see where both ends of the rainbow were, one was nearing the North of Highton (although obscured by Hightons natural hillyness), and the other end was a good four blocks away from the Mercure hotel.

My mum always told me that there’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. She’d say that whenever we saw one, and I ALWAYS thought, with ever growing annoyance and frustration, “well then, let’s DRIVE there and then we’ll have loads of gold with which to buy me toys with!!!”. I ran to one of the ends of that rainbow today, but no pot of gold did I find.

I’m hopeful that I just went to the wrong end of the rainbow.

Hello, everybody!!!

So, it’s currently 8:35pm, Thursday evening. Just in case you’re all wondering, my laryngitis is pretty much all gone, I have coughing fits that last about half an hour to an hour only about three times a day and my ankle has almost gone back to it’s original size although it hurts muchly! (John, could you ask mum and dad what I can take for a persistant cough? Jagermeister doesn’t work and I ONLY drank it because I was coughing once every two seconds for hours, it was very annoying).

Well, today Crommo and I did a lot of sight seeing! We started off by going to Picadilly Circus, then we went to Trafalgar Square, by the way John, and all who want to know, I came up with an idea for a sketch. You see, although we saw many Monopoly sites in succession, they, in real life don’t appear as they do on the board. So here’s my sketch idea. An obviously dressed tourist stands in busy, central London scratching his head and looking very confused. He looks down at his map which is actually a Monopoly board then at the camera and shrugs. Eh? EH?! So after that, we wandered down Downing Street past the horse guards and back to our good friend, The Big Ben. We did more, but I’ll detail what I’ve just mentioned.

So, Picadillychillywillymillywilly Circus. We spent about … four minutes there. The most interesting thing about Picadillpickle Circus was seeing where the Cromptons stayed last time they holidayed there. Looked like a pretty swanky place! (Neil and Jill, can I come with you guys on your next holiday? Lovely taste!!!) And yes, John and Sheri, we did the Wayne’s World Two gag. We’d post the photo but we can’t do it on a mac. 

Trafalgar Square’s a happenin’ place! Yep, Lions, big BIG lions … that’s about it. The square itself would be loads cooler to see if it wasn’t surrounded by scaffolding and repairs, according to Crommo, and I agree. Still, a nice lookin’ spot. Needless to say, we spent about seven minutes there, the only reason why we spent longer there than at Picadiwilly is because we each bought sandwiches and decided to stand about and eat them. You know what’s crazy about London? It’s ALWAYS chock full of people and it is HUGE! And the traffic is absolutely mental!!! All the people drive as if they’ve all got liver or heart transplant deliveries to make and they’ve got to be at their destination in under three minutes. 

So, the horse guards. These guys sit on horses all day long wearing big, shiny, black boots that are so tall and awkward that they can’t actually walk in them. And they wear red jackets and helmets with those straps that sit ever so annoyingly on their mouth. Or just under their nose. Who designed those anyway? Maybe back in the day when horse guards were actually needed, people had very small faces and those straps were both practical AND comfortable. Still, whoever designed them should now realise that people’s heads are bigger. The horses looked very bored. And the guards looked at everyone suspiciously. Good focus, I can see why the Queen hired them.

So, we went back to West Minster and Crommo convinced me to stand in a traditional and famous red phone booth for a photo. It was darling! Except I’m pretty certain those phone booths are used as public urinals because the stench of piss hits you in the face as soon as you open the door to get in. I held the phone close to my face but not on it. I didn’t feel the need to hold a urine soaked receiver up to my otherwise nice face skin. It didn’t deserve it. My hands felt dirty for hours after though, even after I washed them with hot scolding water. So my advice for London phone booths, much like what people get advised about Li-Lo, look but never ever go in. Ooh. That’s harsh.

So, we walked around Westminster again, just to soak up the history and awesomeness and then we walked around South Bank again and took the famous footbridge (seen in the movie, Bridget Jones’ Diary) to check out St. Paul’s Cathedral. And, not unlike every other building in London it was huge, grande, historic and made me awe-struck! We ventured in as far as we could without paying (17 pounds, get outta here! It’s only a fancy church!) and saw enough to get a feel for the place. Plus we saw the tomb of the famous Earl … uh … EARL Woenggifnjinster? He was the man! Good ol’, Earl. Early-Earl. Yep. Me and Earl. London wouldn’t've been the same without ‘im … his tomb.

So after that we went to Starbucks because I was feeling like a bit of a zombie and thought perhaps coffee might help me out. And I never drink coffee so … it must have worked because I didn’t need any more naps on grassy strips surrounding St. Paul’s after that, lucky really because we weren’t anywhere near St. Pauls after that. 

We caught the tube to The Tower of London and have agreed to peruse it in great detail tomorrow morning.  The exterior alone is unreal! Who knows what mysteries lay inside! We walked to Tower bridge after that which was cool, it made me wonder if people live in there today. Imagine living on top of a bridge? One that’s busier than … ooh, what’s a good Victorian equivalent? The West Gate. I believe back in the day, the Bridge Master used to live their, man, what a spot! After that we walked to the very same food market we went to the first day we arrived here and bought some most excellent bread and pesto for our pasta dinner. It started bucketing down rain though, which was a shame as I thought our most excellent bread would be soggy by the time we got home. The old gentleman that sold us the bread was a real character! Very English, had great taste, told us how to prepare the bread! He was like someone you’d picture to exist in the town Belle grew up in from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. He double bagged our bread abd by the time we got home, it was just as fresh as it was when we purchased it!

So, we caught various tubes back to Lisa’s and arrived home around 5:15pm. Much to our delight, Tom was home, already preparing our pasta dinner (something we assure Tom and Lis the night before that we were going to do) and that was a relief as Crommo and I were quite tired from having been on our feet all day. Since getting home, we’ve eaten much good food and watched many episodes of Scrubs. It is now 9:38pm and I imagine soon will be nappy nap time! Til tomorrow, friends, family and well-wishers! Let me know what life back in Australia’s like (we passed a few tables selling second-hand books in South Street, much to my delight there was a book of Australian photos. None of them really reminded me of the Australia I know as they were all artistic and of Ayers Rock and the Northern Territory and such places I’ve not been to, however, it made me feel home-sick for a bit! It’s hard to stay home sic when life is so exciting and fun though!!!) – PEACE OUT, Y’ALL – Hope you’re all well!

The greatest game, EVER!

Happy Birthday to the death of Titanic.

Happy Birthday to brother John.

The big three o.

Very little thought has gone into this blog.

Everybody Love Everybody.

Dear loyal visitors,

I really do mean that, you’re loyal AS! I haven’t written in months, in fact, if no one reads this, that’s cool. Don’t expect you to. Why would you even come to this predictable-as-the-tide, dull-as-dishwater site, eh? Which is exactly why I’ll bring up the following subject of guilt.

Recently I’ve been feeling a whole heap of guilt. You see, like many of my friends, I have had a great upbringing, constant love and support of family and friends, opportunities that the old me would have taken for granted and a future in this wonderful part of this wonderful country that * touch wood * will never be affected by natural disaster or disease. Why am I so lucky and fortunate to have experienced such a wonderful and amazing life? I can’t accept that some people are just unfortunate. Atleast, not in this stage of my life. It wasn’t until some weeks ago that I finally realised that in order to live with this guilt, I must dedicate my life to helping others. I’m in a position to do so and therefore I must. Plus, I genuinely like helping others! Which is why I’m going to become a nurse. I’ll still do the things I love doing, i.e. drawing, playing piano, maybe composing. But my career will be that of a nurse.
I was wondering … all who visit, might you share with me if you’ve ever felt this incredible burdening guilt? I’m sure I’m not alone. And I know this is pretty heavy and you may not feel like sharing which is cool, I understand!

But I’d love to know what your thoughts are.

Sometimes, I feel incredibly alone and I can’t cope with this guilt. But I always have hope that there will be better days. And don’t worry, if you are, I’m not planning on ending my life or anything. Lately, I’ve been doing just fine! My course starts on the 3rd of March. Hopefully, I’ll love it and hopefully it will be for me.

So please, let me know your thoughts my friends. I’d love to hear from you, if you so desire!

- Suzy
P.S. I don’t want to read ANY horror nurse stories, I’ll come across them in my own time when I’m feeling confident that I can handle them. Much appreciated, thank you!

Here everyone, I drew this last Monday evening, hope y’all like it. It’s not really finished, but I got impatient. And I know you’ve all been hankering for a new post from me, so here tis.

P.S. I quit my course and I’m planning on becoming a picture story book illustrator. That was actually my retirement plan, but I got impatient.

I watched The Terminator the other night for the first time in AGES! And once again, I realised how awesome James Cameron is. It was the first time I really thought about how good and simultaneously eye-cross-making it is.

So, let me get this straight. The future Johnny Connor sends back Reece to protect his mother, Sarah Connor from a Cyborg, also sent back in time, from the same time roughly as Reece and future Johnny Connor. Reece turns out to be Johnny Connor’s father, he protects Sarah Connor from the Cyborg, Sarah Connor destroys the Cyborg in that factory, everybody wins.

And jyet …

Because there are remnants of the Cyborg in the factory, those are the tracks layed down for Cyberdine in Terminator 2. But if there were no remnants, there’d be no Cyberdine, and if there were no Cyberdine, there’d be no possible Judgement Day and no reason for Johnny Connor to send back Reece to protect Sarah. Which in itself doesn’t make sense because he’s his father! I just keep going around in circles!

 Go on, watch it, think about it, go insane. I’m gonna watch T-2 tonight because it’s a fucking great film.

I just became the happy possessor of a single Brazil nut from a rare, arbitrary, elderly Italian man. It’s sitting in front of me in all it’s slightly covered, dark-brown, crispy skin, with it’s bare light-tanned nutty goodness shining through. I don’t want to eat it because then I won’t be able to see it anymore. Also, I don’t want to get the aids.

What are some of the most random gifts you readers have ever received? This one definately makes it into my top ten.